Friday, February 10, 2012

"Let's see ourselves beautiful again"

 I know it's been forever since I've posted a blog. I have the greatest intentions but don't seem to make it to blogspot as often as I should. However, I HAD to let the world know that I took pictures with the infamous Saddi Khali.

For anyone who has read a previous blog, you know that taking photos by Saddi was on my 29th year bucket list. Well, I did it!

Today (Feb 10), he asked me to write my afterthoughts about the shoot. Here is my reply to him:


Online, I booked an "artistic" shoot and purposely did not click "nude" because there was NO WAY on earth I was doing nude pics at my size/weight. When Saddi called, he asked questions to get an idea about the shoot and advised me on the feelings I'd feel about being "nude". Silently I said "Uhm, i'm not taking nude pics Saddi" yet I said nothing. The day of the shoot, I drove to the photo site knowing i was not taking my clothes off.

When I walked into the room where the pictures would be taken, I exhaled and said to myself "Just do it". Saddi greeted me and instantly i felt a warm presence about him. Something about his demeanor told me there was no judgment here. He was NOT going to tell me how fat i was, how i needed to lose weight and why I wasn't "good enough" for nude pics. He was not going to point out my stretch marks or scars or birthmarks to me. In fact, I began to point them out to him as if I wanted to bring attention to my flaws before he had time to be disgusted by them. Yet in the 2 hours with Saddi, I felt beautiful. In a matter of one photo session, i became someone new. No longer worried about my weight and how many more pounds I needed to lose, i was able to be ME.

In 2 hours, I transformed.

I left Saddi a different person. A new found love of self. An appreciation of every curve. I stared at my pictures in awe. No touch ups, no photo shop, real, raw, ME.

This all took place one week ago (2/3/12). I've had people stop me and tell me "something is different about you". I've had friends tell me I seem brighter and happier. I stand in front of the mirror and smile at ALL of the goodness I see. I recognize I will NEVER be the same person again. My walk and talk is different. I had a random stranger at publix stop me this week and say "You're beautiful". Usually, I would've taken his comment and silently said he was crazy or it "must be the outfit" or the hair. I thanked him and internally said "Yep! I know. If you think i'm beautiful now, you should see me NAKED!"

I fell in love with a woman last reflection in the mirror.

Thank you Saddi for changing my world and my life. I am forever grateful.
“From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines.” ― Walt Whitman


"Let's see ourselves beautiful again." --- Saddi Khali


  1. beautiful. needed to read this. so happy for you. peace and blessings sis. we must chat or text or something soon. kiss the manchild for me. love.

  2. Beautiful post. I need to do a shoot one day

  3. You write very well.

  4. This is so amazing and beautifully written. It's so descriptive...I get a true sense of what "Your" experience was like. Thanks for that! XX

  5. Lovely conclusion to what you thought would be a awkward experience.

  6. Well said Evolution is a wonderful thing....when we peel off one layer of our Soul to reveal our true selves beneath that's a's our Evolution...Noel...Poetry-n-Pics

    I’m Evolving into the person I’m meant to be
    Everyday I learn something
    New and exciting about loving ME
    Trials, errors, situations
    Developed this core
    Closed doors, frustrations, tears
    My building blocks
    Love, forgiveness and time
    The Key to these locks

    I’m Evolving each day I receive
    The joy of knowing
    I don’t have to PLEASE
    All facets and doorways of my life
    Are meant to give this body
    A new starting point...........noel...Poetry-n-Pics

  7. Beautiful writing. Beautiful experience. Beautiful woman.

  8. This is so beautiful sis!! Wow...speechless. I really want to do a shoot with Mr. Saddi Khali, as well.

  9. Awesome! A photo shoot is on my bucket list too, you've inspired me to get it done asap :-)