Happy New Year

I often wonder if I am the only one concerned with how fast time SEEMS to be going. Yes, there are still 24 hours in a day and 168 hours in a week, I get that. Yet somehow we blink and lose track of time.

Here we are at the beginning of 2012 already. The world scrambles to make resolutions and a to do list containing 100 things they are going to do this year. I admit, I am guilty of doing this year after year. Sure it's ok to have goals but I encourage you to stop waiting for tomorrow, next year, your birthday, the summer, when you lose weight, when you're rich, etc to START living.

 

2011 was a year of lessons. I learned BIG lessons and not so big ones but they all got me HERE. One lesson I seem to keep learning is to slow down. I am still working on this but I am at a better place with this goal than I was on January 1, 2011. Although I mentioned this before, the biggest lesson I learned was to take risks.

I found myself in a Women's Empowerment Workshop this year hosted by Katie Lemieux. I found myself taking plus size pictures with Mystic to start a portfolio. I tried out for a plus size fashion show. I was reminded as to what love is (and what it is not). I became a vegan. Most importantly, I remembered how magnificent and wonderful I am and should NEVER be around people who fail to recognize my greatness.

  

As 2012 begins, I am grateful for all of these lessons. I am wishing farewell to negativity, meat and several people. I am better off without you.

In 2012, I hope you find what you are looking for. Remember happiness and love start from within. If you fail to remind yourself of this often, you will lose yourself (quickly).

For the first time ever, I have chosen to have only one "resolution":

Do things that make ME happy. That's my big picture. The end all and be all.

As for my followers, supporters, and haters, I thank you. I'm up to BIG things in 2012 and you only motivate me to keep going.

Cheers to 2012!

Much love from Jackieonappy.

In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy. -- David Steindl-Rast

In full bloom

 When I was a younger, I had a (delusional) idea of where I'd be at certain stages in my life...married at 24, 2.5 kids by 30, fancy career, making TONS of money, house with a spiral stair case with a piano at the bottom of the stairs. I have never been a huge fan of animals but I would have several fish in a huge tank in my living room.

I celebrated my 29th birthday this past monday (October 24th). I had a lovely dinner with my sister and her other half. No fireworks, cake, or partying all night 'til my feet hurt. I turned 29 and yet the world didn't stop to congratulate me on making it to the last year of my 20's. Not married. Career is (currently) far from fancy. My bank account laughs at the "TONS of money" statement. The only stairs near my residence lead to the condos above me. I don't even have the fish yet.

I admit I spent a few days prior to my birthday wondering what happened. I had this feeling of slight panic questioning WHY I didn't feel successful at all, as if I hadn't done enough. Afterall at 29, people have it all, right? The more I thought about it, I realized my panic was not necessary. Of course I want a lot more for myself in the future but as they would say "I'm right where I need to be".

With that said, I told many friends and family that I wanted to be more daring and bold after a friend dared me to be. As others have done, I decided I wanted a bucket list of sorts. This bucket list would consist of 30  things I wanted to do BEFORE I turned the big 3-0. I asked for suggestions and many chimed in. So here's the list, not in any particular order.

1. Learn to ride a bicycle (Yep, i never learned)

2. Volunteer 30 hours for a cause I support

3. Take a self defense class

4. Run/walk 30 miles a month

5. Do some sort of water activity: parasailing, jet skiing, scuba diving, swim with dolphins

6. Officially start my own company (Born To Fly)

7. Read/perform my poetry in front of a group of strangers

8. Travel out of the country VIA airplane

9. Take a conversational spanish class (I was the only black girl in Advanced Placement Spanish in 12th grade)

10. 10 5k's

11. Submit my pictures to a plus size modeling agency, site or contest just because

12. Blog more often

13. Meditate

14. Visit a gun range

15. Take professional pictures by the infamous Saddi Khali

16. Actually make youtube videos here: JackieONappy

17. Write and publish an article

18. Pose nude for pictures *gasps*

19. Pierce something/ tattoo something (probably the easiest task on this list)

20. Break the rules, make LESS lists and LIVE.

That's it!

Ok ok, so I suppose you've noticed there's only 20 things on this list but I decided, this was my idea and I couldn't think of 10 more things so 20 was sufficient.

I realize the lessons I've learned in my 28th year were all things I've already known but had to be reminded:

Love can be fantastic but isn't enough (by itself) to maintain or substain a relationship.

Most of the "You can'ts," & "You shouldn'ts," come from within. Self doubt can ruin you before you begin.

People will judge you, tell lies about you, and try to break you just to see how you react.

People will dislike you SIMPLY because you have something they want(ed)

The best lesson I've been reminded of though isn't particulary surprising or shocking by any means:

Life is all about chances and taking risks. You only get out what you put in. Be bold. Be beautiful. Be DARING. Life isn't always about to do lists and following the script. It's about getting up and doing IT and writing it down AFTER the fact.

My 29th year's motto: "In full bloom".

I look forward to the journey.

Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary. ~ Cecil Beaton